"...that beast

astray 

that finds neither home nor joy nor nourishment

                                                                   in a world that is strange and incomprehensible to him.” 


-Hermann Hesse

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/4965/steppenwolf.jpg

Synthetic Insolence 

eke out that soft spot, watch from a careful distance, plot the remains of your existence.

Retreat, retreat to keep yourself safe. You feel the fingers at your throat and for the rest of your days you run andyourunandyourunand


you can't recover your life.

I'm not afraid of being dead.

 I'm just afraid of what you might have to go through to get there.

-Pamela Bone

Out to Pasture

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/886/pasture.jpg

As long as you are useful, I will love you. 

If you provide for me, I will love you.

Here, take shelter in my (fickle) hands, they will protect you.

Yes, Eventually, I will discard you,

 but carefully,

 morally

(utilitarian bear)

and I won't look.

Irreconcilable Differences

“their heart grew cold
                 
                     they let their wings down”

― Sappho

http://img571.imageshack.us/img571/8825/irreconcilabledifferenc.jpg

In our enthrallment with ourselves, and in our satisfaction with our ability to manipulate that which we posit to love: we poison, erode, and destroy.

Sometimes the object of our affection hangs on, desperately hoping.

Sometimes we chain her, desperate ourselves.

and Sometimes

Sometimes... she packs up her hope in a neat little package and buries it next to her heart, before quietly walking away.

We are only falsehood...

...duplicity, 

               contradiction; 

                                we both conceal and disguise ourselves from ourselves.

-Blaise Pascal

Human:

http://imageshack.us/a/img689/7233/humanv.jpg

We are intimately connected with nature and yet, almost always, actively, consciously, disconnected. We need the natural world, for all our forms of sustenance, yet we destroy it. We enact great laws, wide-spread campaigns, clever slogans to show everyone just how much we care, then we go home turn on two televisions, crank the heat to 75, or the air to 60, leave every light in the house on and eat our dinner off a plastic plate delivered to our house in a plastic bag (in our plastic car).

In the painting the main character is tied to one of the horses, his tale wrapped 'round her finger. He struggles to leave, she restrains him, keeps him, though it is killing him. At the same time as she is killing this horse, she gently cupping an injured bird, and staring longingly into the night sky, thinking about the beautiful natural world.

We are not to be trusted, we humans.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

This entry is cheap, and will be short-lived. I am four (4!!) new pieces deep, and it's making me crazy. I NEED TO SHARE.

So tomorrow, or maybe the next day because I never met a deadline I liked, NEW, UNSEEN, artwork - holy fuck, i know. Shut your whore mouths. Goodnight. 

The Truth

The truth doesn't have to do with cruelty, 
                                the truth has to do with

                                   mercy. 

                                           -Ken Kesey

Go In Flames

http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/8516/goinflames.jpg

 Sometimes we are destroyed by the people that love us most. They take their loving hands, set aside their gentle hearts, and tear into us mercilessly.

 In agony we clutch our chests and scramble desperately for a foothold. Minds reeling, we beg for understanding, only to be met with answers that don't answer anything at all.

A horse

... is at least human, for God's sake.

-J.D. Salinger

Yeah? Did you get that? My son did not... and my soul bled everywhere when he admitted it. I sucked it in, smiled, explained;

"You see, " I said "the horse, in its raw, unbridled state" (and I chuckled internally at my cleverness here) "is often more relatable than.., well, than most people. Do you see?"

Blank, beautiful, but blank, blue eyes stared back. I sighed.

"nevermind, do you like it?"

and he did. I Christianed him a horse, for at least that moment.

Larger Image

“We are never so defenseless...

....against suffering as when we love.” 

― Sigmund Freud

...and so we don't. We divorce ourselves from our emotion, our community, our family, our humanity.

We insulate ourselves with violence and cruelty. We work carefully to cover our soft spots with an impervious layer of sarcasm, bandage our wounds with too-quick laughter and  endless self-derision. We hide our pain and hoard our pleasure, panem et circenses, forever and ever, Amen. 


Let this be the awkward introduction to my Humanity series. This is, in case it is not incredibly, painfully, obvious, my interpretation of the relationship between us, the keepers (of language and art) and them, the givers ( withoutwithoutwithout). 

My guts smeared about the canvas, piece 1:

Civil War 

Inspired by a map of the boundaries of the Civil War; where the yankees began, and where they ended. This is just one wife, below the Mason-Dixon line. She has lost everything. Everything but her convictions. Present, and Free.